Chirping, Squirting…Adventures in Boston

Posted on August 12, 2010


So, shocker, those donkeys from Portsmouth FC didn’t score a single goal as predicted; however, they did give up two softies and f’d up our draw line play.  Taking the under was probably the best play, but honestly, none of you degenerates made a play on the second division of the English Premiership(Championship).  So, now that we’ve got our loss out of the way, we can start banging out winners on American football.  Unfortunately, it’s next to impossible to bet straight up on preseason games.  Therefore, we’re gonna go to the props.  Take the Ravens first half line(-2) against the Panthers, and, if you’re so inclined, take the Saints prop bet that they will score more than 17 points(-115).

After our standard nonsense conversations this week, two notable discoveries resulted, the first of which involves real estate: It turns out that the mean streets of Beantown are actually safer than the  recently paved streets of Friendship Heights.  Example: our hockey boy and blog contributor slept on the street outside his North End apartment safe and sound, but our other boy couldn’t make it from a wine bar in Friendship Heights to his house two blocks away without going to war with six dudes, and well, losing (Donkey of the Year).

On a lighter note, our second discovery revolves around a comparative analysis of the inhabitants of these fair metropolises:  The chicks in Boston are much more likely to let you act out your best Bill Compton impersonation like its an episode of True Blood and send a river of sweet nectar(the smell or taste of the juice from a tuna can) down the small of your back, so we’ve got that going for us now don’t we?  However, the broads from McFaddens in Foggy Bottom will let you act out your own RedTube fantasies so it’s still a toss up between D.C. chicks and Boston chicks.

We have a new segment for all you degenerates, and it’s called the “We’re Cised For: Chirp of the Week.”  Chirp, just like cised, has multiple meanings and uses depending on situation and geographic location.  For this particular situation we are referring to something funny one of our idiot friends said that we felt necessary to pass along to our  readers, all NINE of you (It was eight last week so we’re moving on up).  “I lead the league in overintoxications.”  Yes, literate friends, he said overintoxications.  And the degenerate who made this ridiculous statement is none other than Shawsy.  Congrats to him for being the first to make our Chirp of the Week.

Lets us know how you degenerates did with the props.