I Sign Checks with My Dick…Straight Cash Homie!

Posted on August 17, 2010


So my fellow degenerates, just like Randy Moss, if you went with your boys’ picks this past week, this is what you’d be saying to your bookie when he comes to pay you after you cleaned his clock with our football picks.  And, by the way, we were joking about that one soccer pick (our only loss).  To be sure, we’ll be giving advice on all aspects of the gambling world, but, especially in the coming weeks, our focus will be on football; we’re CISED to inform all you degenerates that we’re 100% on that front.

But who cares?!?

Our picks for this coming weekend of more meaningless games will be available for you degenerates  Thursday-ish, so tune back in then.

Since the three of us are all in different cities this week, our weekly meeting will have to be a conference call on Wednesday night. Between three donks who can barely check our voice mail, this should prove to be interesting.  As such, we have no current stories for this post.  However, to whet your appetite,  I’ll reach into the oldies but goodies file and give you something from back in the day.

We have a friend who, for the purposes of this story, we’ll call “Rupert”.  Like most of our idiot friends, “Rupert” likes to have a drink or two (or 12) when the weekend rolls around.  “Rupert”, however, has a problem once he gets home after a long night of boozing it up; he pees the bed.  This is funny enough by itself, but it gets better.  When he’s lucky enough to pick up a young lady who’s kind enough to go home with him and grant him access to her most intimate of areas, this donk ends up giving these chicks a very unwelcome golden shower, which has happened on more than one occasion.  Needless to stay, this has become awkward for him and the broads who wake up soaked in this donk’s pee.

So now, when “Rupert” comes home after a night on the town, his roommate makes him pass out in his bathtub so he doesn’t ruin any more sheets and is able to just rinse himself off, make his way into his bed, and wake up fresh and clean in the morning.

Let us know how you degenerates did this pass weekend.  Also, if you knuckleheads have any good quotes from your friends for our “Chirp of the Week”, feel free to pass them along to us.