Preseason Picks and Rupert Stories…Doesn’t Get much Better

Posted on August 19, 2010


So, fellow degenerates, as you’ve seen this past week, we’ve added daily videos of the ridiculous variety for your viewing pleasure.  Today, however, being Thursday, it’s once again time for your boys to give you our picks for the coming weekend’s preseason games, starting with tonight’s game.  Take the Falcons at -2 1/2 (-145).  We also like the prop bet that the Colts will score more than 15 points(-115) against the lackluster Bills.

Now that we’ve got the picks out of the way, our good friend “Rupert” is going to be the focus of this blog.  You all remember “Rupert,” that donk who gives chicks unintentional golden showers, is back at it again.  “Rupert” has begun seeing a new girl who has yet to be peed on in her sleep, which is why she’s still around.

One fair evening, they go out and get all banged up and come home and pass out together.  “Rupert” wakes up in the middle of the night to the strong odor of human feces, and believes instantly that he’s found a way to top his normal ridiculous drunken nightly routine.  He gets up expecting to find himself covered in shit, but, to his shock and amazement, he’s perfectly clean.  He wants to wake her up and make fun of her endlessly and then kick her out on her shit-covered ass.  Realizing, however, that he pisses himself all the time, he decides to just tell her and move on.

This girl takes the news that she shit herself just as you might expect;  she’s totally embarrassed and completely apologetic all day.  After another night out together to drink away the embarrassment, they return to “Rupert’s” apartment and get ready for bed.  One step in the door, however, and the shit smell is worse than ever.  After some investigating, “Rupert” discovers his boxers from the night before under his bed covered in “Rupert’s” own shit.  It turns out that this drunken idiot shit himself, woke up and realized it, showered and changed and  went back to bed and forgot the whole thing.

Of course “Rupert” told her, right?  Wrong.  Good old “Rupert” is one for taking the low road, which is why we love him and why he’s going to be a repeat character on “Cised.”

Check back in again tomorrow or Saturday for more football picks and hopefully more “Rupert” stories.

Let us know how you degenerates did with the plays.