My First Kindergarten Birthday Party

Posted on August 26, 2010


So a sweet, young, and fun Kindergarten teacher, who we will name “Kindergarten”, really wants you to go to her B-day party. You would die for an afternoon of crabs and keg beer, but you definitely have to think about this invitation! How can you show up to a party known by all of the B-day girls closest friends, roommates, and, worse, family members, as the “Stray Puppy”? So this is how the “stray puppy” got his name…

“Kindergarten” invites “stray puppy” over one Sunday.  She pets him, feeds him (beer, wine, liquor you name it), and lets him sleep in a her cozy room (including a ridiculously good AC unit). “Stray puppy” is happy with his new set-up and wants more food and to be touched so he continues to show up at “Kindergarten’s” doorstep wagging his tail and salivating at the mouth. The problem is, the “stray puppy” really gets used to this routine and begins to abuse the kindness of the teacher by showing up uninvited (and who wouldn’t?), usually after already being fed by countless bartenders and pet by numerous skanky strangers in DC.  On some of these occasions  “stray puppy” would show up and have to bark loudly until “Kindergarten’s” roommates(fucking dog haters) would wake up and unwillingly let him in. This routine continued to occur until finally “Kindergarten” and the roommates decide never to let the “stray puppy” in ever again. So one very hot and humid night after another bender in DC, the puppy comes to Kindergarten’s house ready for bed and no one answers his cries. What was he to do? No cab would take him, and it was too far from home to walk so he had to sleep outside! Poor little “stray puppy”! Good thing he found a comfy canopy outside “Kindergarten’s” apartment to sleep under, but don’t worry, it was just for the night.

Anyways should the “Stray Puppy” go to “Kindergarten’s” B-day? Please share your thoughts, and if you ever feel like a “stray puppy” and don’t have a place to stay on a lonely night, holler at your boy.

Tune in tomorrow, fellow degenerates, for our picks for the weekend.  There will be no stories, no videos and definitely no chirping(maybe).  We continue to appreciate the high daily volumes of traffic to “Cised”, and we’ll continue to input your feedback.  Therefore, fellow degenerates, that means you donks need to start commenting on posts.

Posted in: Uncategorized