Top 10 Sports Movies

Posted on September 22, 2010

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I was bored last night (no internet in my apt yet, no english tv channels, and  no playstation), so I decided to make a list of MY favorite sports movies of all time.  This is my list, not yours.  So don’t give me shit if you disagree, but feel free to chime in with your top 10 list if you’re bored after checking which players you were able to pick up off waivers in your fantasy football league.    Here are the 10 sports movies that get me CISED almost as much as the Ali Larter whip cream scene from “Varsity Blues”, an honorable mention in this list.

10) Any Given Sunday – Al Pacino in a sports movie? Forget about it.  LT coked up chainsawing a Hummer in half? – That’s actually a true story.  Dennis Quaid playing an old geyser who gets his job taken by a young black QB – watch out Brett, is Tavares Jackson the next Willie Beamen??? I don’t know, but I would sure love to see old grey bush fail miserably this year..

9) A League of Their Own – “Did anyone ever tell you you look like a penis with a little hat on?”  Great line.  I might be a little queer for ranking this higher than some movies, but it’s definitely a classic in my book

8 ) Friday Night Lights – Not cheesy sports movies are hard to come by, and this is one of them.  Billy Bob is legit.  A balding Tim Mcgraw takes off his cowboy hat and surprises us with a great performance.  Only thing missing is Tim Riggins from FNL the tv show.  Girls wanna bang him, and guys wanna be him.  Sick flow, cowboy boots, drinks every night, plays hard on the field, and apparently goes to high school for  6 years….why wouldn’t you wanna be that guy?

7) Green Street Hooligans – This movie flew under the radar, but its amazing.  If you haven’t seen it, go rent it now.  Soccer gangs drinking pints, chanting, and beating the piss out of each other.  I am at the point now where I would watch a soccer game start to finish without having any action on it (haven’t done that yet, but I would), and that is about 30% due to my boy trev, and 70% due to this movie.  If that little homo Elijah Wood wasn’t in this I’d probably have it a few spots higher.

6) Caddy Shack – No explanation needed, one of the funniest movies of all time.

5) Slap Shot – Even people that don’t know shit about hockey love this movie.  Remember when Paul Newman is sleeping with that chick who’s talking about sleeping with another guy’s wife?  I used to pause it when I was like 10, and just stare at her tits.  Those ape tits….you know where they dip down and turn out to the side like bananas….any guy who has seen this movie knows what I am talking about.

4) Blue Chips – Shaq might not have been as good as he was in “Shazam”, but he  still delivers in this one.  Nick Nolte was badass, and Penny Hardaway was my favorite player back in the day.  Used to rock the shit out of his Air Max’s.  Not the stupid moon shoes though…Reub Dogg was the only one I knew who convinced his mom to drop 2 C notes on those bad boys.  The fact that it involved gambling bumped it up 2 spots on my list too.

3) Field of Dreams – Probably the best story of any of these movies.  The scene when Kevin Costner travels in time to meet an old Moonlight Graham somewhere in Minnesota on the city streets, with “The Godfather”  playing at the movie theatre gives me the chills every time.  I could watch this movie again and again.

2) He Got Game – Probably should be number 1.  Ray Allen can just stroke it.  I went down to Shepard park for weeks after I saw this movie to pretend I was Jesus Shuttlesworth knocking down 3’s like he was Chris Mullen on fire in NBA Jam.  And how about that threesome scene on the waterbed on his official visit.  Nice work Spike.

1) Youngblood – Most of you probably haven’t seen or heard of this movie, but it was the second movie my parents ever bought for me, (first was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) and I have seen it over 100 times easily.  Rob Lowe bangs a hot Cynthia Gibb in her prime, also bangs his cougar housing mom Miss McGill in a scene I am sure every hockey player who has seen this movie beat it to, and beats up Carl Racki after tucking one under the bar to win the championship for the Hamilton Mustangs.   He also got his nuts shaved.  Keanu Reaves makes a cameo as a frog goalie and Patrick Swayze co-stars in my favorite sports movie of all-time.

Honorable mentions – The Program….”fuck you dough boy I can read”, Tin Cup, Lady Bugs (don’t lie, this was your favorite movie at some point in your life, hopefully not not now though), Celtic Pride “you think Larry Bird has a picture of you wrangling a terd hanging on his wall?” terrible movie actually, but a great line, Varsity Blues, and Raging Bull.   Shit, I forgot about Teen Wolf…..put that somewhere in the middle of my Top 10

Dishonorable Mentions – Rudy…ok its a great movie but that fucking hobbit drives me nuts, and Miracle…we all know the best sports story of all time, why ruin it by having a bunch of dickheads use fake Boston accents in a cheesy Disney movie.  Thats all I got folks.  Let me know which movies I left out.

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