Graduating From Kindergarten To First Grade

Posted on September 23, 2010


As surprising as it may seem, the extremely gay wine bar that the BJC works at is a great place for me to get my self into trouble.  Many a night I have stumbled out of there with either a chick, a number, or a story for this ridiculous blog.  So, this past Tuesday, for a favor to a friend, I accepted a blind date with a sweet UVA grad from Atlanta at the wine bar.  Blind date talk was fairly normal/boring so I continued to chug my wine and focus more on the other women in the bar.

I catch eyes and here comes “first grade”, a very loud and highly intoxicated sweet young lady from the Bethesda area, who, as it happens, teaches first grade.

Trying to be discrete, I slyly made sure that “first grade” knew I would be back up to the wine bar for the Skins game Sunday afternoon (I couldn’t make it obvious during the date).

So “first grade” arrived early to get a start on her drinking (she likes to get drunk) with a tight little Santana Moss jersey on and I started spitting game/screaming at the BJC to give me some beers. In between watching football and chirping “first grade”, I also noticed this hot older chick from Alabama whose sweet thong was out there for all us degenerates to see.  Also, the BJC informed us that another smoking hot chick sitting outside in a very short dress was wearing zippy underwear and that her shit was out there for all to see as well.

The rest of the night was a blur due to the all-you-can-drink-wine and beer, as well as the two ambiens I took at some point after the heart-breaking Skins loss.  So other than hanging out with some local girls(one being my second tally ever) and trying to fight one of BJC’s managers outside the wine bar, nothing big happened Sunday.

Getting blacked out forced me to scroll through my texts the next morning and realizing that “first grade” bet me $50 that I wouldn’t meet up with her in Bethesda for MNF.  Haha I got her in my pocket.  Give me one good reason for me not to win that bet, meet up with her, and run up a good $50 tab watching the game, get her drunk, and to get myself closer to graduation.

We get bombed at a local Bethesda watering hole and ended back up at her place for food and kitchen counter foreplay. After she made it clear that there would be no fornication, I bolted with her ex-boyfriends sweet Nike hat and I promised I would finish the final paper(her giving me sex) by the end of the week.

It continues to amaze me that women continue to grant me access to their most intimate of areas after all the shenanigans I’ve pulled.  And considering that some of these lovely ladies read this garbage, I’m still waiting for one of them to show up at my door Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction style.

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