NFL Week 10: The Good, The Bad and The Redskins. Plus Weekend Picks

Posted on November 12, 2010

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A quick disclaimer: Any donkey can go on CBSSportsline.com and look at stats and numbers, but it takes a real man to post his opinion as fact.  Your boy is one of those rare few who don’t believe in numbers.  I’m like Fox News; I report opinion as fact and hope nobody has enough time to fact check my shit.  Also, since no one has maned up and offered to sponsor our blog (hint hint.  I’ll pimp the shit out of whatever bullshit product you want us to push), we don’t have fact checkers, so the “facts” I’m about to present seem like they’re correct, but who knows?

THE GOOD: Right around this time of the NFL season, the cream tends to rise to the top. Although this season had its share of upsets and nubbs teams doing better than predicted, the better teams have started to make their presence felt.

Your boy’s New York Football Giants have taken control of the NFC east thanks in no small part to the Cowgirls going down like a drunken prom date on the drive to the after-party.  Yes, I’m Cised.  Eli Manning, who has long been considered the down-syndrome-ridden younger brother of Peyton, has been lighting it up to his new favorite receiver (thanks Plax), Hakeem Nicks.  They are 2nd in the LEAGUE in total offense and 1st in the LEAGUE in total defense.  That’s right bitches, I might have made both those stats up, I might not have, but they still sound good.

The Eagles: I cant say I’m happy to see that scumbag dog torturer Mike Vick doing well, but I am one for forgiveness, so big ups to you, and next time you’ve got an inside line on a dog fight, holla at your boy.

The Falcons and The Packers: Both are very good at home, Matt Ryan is like 17-1 when starting at home.  The Packers have been hit pretty hard with injuries, so I wouldn’t be shocked to see them fizzle out down the stretch.  Aaron Rodgers is a huge donk, by the way, and that’s a fact, google that shit.

THE BAD: The aforementioned Dallas Cowgirls.  I mean REALLY?  Almost everyone had them atop the NFC in preseason predictions, if not representing the NFC in the Super Bowl.  Oops.

The Minnesota Vikings: Granted they got a big win Sunday, but their season has been a huge disappointment.  Farve’s old ass needs to just retire, or at least get his joint a little more Cised before he starts texting pictures of it out to money grubbing whores looking for a payday.

The Buffalo Bills: If I told you that the QB with the 2nd highest QB rating in the league was on a win-less team, you’d probably say that I was high.  Normally you’d be right, but that’s the reality of the situation for the Bills.  Not to mention that that QB went to the perennial Ivy League powerhouse, Harvard.  Fitzpatrick should have jumped on the Facebook team instead.

THE REDSKINS: So last season the ‘skins had the #4 ranked defense in the NFL.  This year they are in the bottom 5.  Would you trust last years squad over this years? Of course not.  And you know why?  Turnovers.  Washington was abysmal at forcing TO’s, and it wasn’t all number 22 “no-hands mcgee” Rogers’ fault.  The entire D was to blame, along with the coaching staff, GM, owner and anyone else affiliated with the team.  In 2010, however, it is completely reversed.  Our bend , but hope we don’t break, defense is giving up yards like were ESU when Alvin Mack had a broken leg and Lattimore gave up the sauce.  The difference is that we already have more takeaways then the entirety of last year.  It is the same formula the Saints used on their title run.  Hasslett attempted to instill it when he was there and now brought the aggressive 3-4 to Fedex.  I am in no way saying we will come out of the NFC, let alone the East, but since we are paper champions every single off-season and in rebuilding mode every other season, some entertaining football under Shanahan and Hasslett is a welcome change.

Alright, enough with the NFL non-sense, it’s NCAA time.  A big pat on the back to the East Carolina Pirates who became bowl eligible last night without playing a series of defense in God knows how long (117th out of 120 in points against).  Granted it was more of a giveaway by UAB, but I’ll take it and my winnings.  Additionally, how about UCONN coach Randy Edsall’s ballsy call to go for it on 4th and 1 on his own 18.  Only up by two with under three to play and gets it.  Looks like the lousy Big East is shaping up to be the biggest underdog in BCS bowl history.  This weekend Were Cised For the following: Tulsa +2.5 at Houston (I can’t even believe they aren’t favored.  Boggles the mind.  They have a much more potent O then UCF which posted 40 at the Cougars last week), Nevada -8.5 at Fresno St. (Should be a fun shootout to watch, but after the 844 yards of total offense they put up last week, they are clicking), Oregon -20 at Cal (which Bears team shows up? I’m literally betting on the one that eeked out a win over Wazzu last week), Baylor +3 vs. Texas A&M (The Bears come out firing ’93 Waco siege style after the embarrassment at State.  Hopefully they don’t smoke themselves out in the process), UCF vs. S Miss OVER 54.5 (last 5 games ppg: UCF-41, S Miss-44.  Enough said), Arkansas St. -12 vs. W Kentucky (The Hilltoppers have already shifted their focus to basketball where it belongs.  I like the Red Wolves from stAte), Utah -5.5 at ND (Brian Kelley follows in an ever expanding list of coaches who allow mediocrity in South Bend).

If you’re feeling frisky and just want to, well, gamble, we offer a solution to that as well.  Take the S Carolina at Fla. OVER 51.5, Utah St. -3.5 at SJSU, Ok St. -5.5 at UT, Troy -8.5 vs. FIU

And before I bid you Donkeys adieu, I want to throw a shout out old school WPGC style to BJC.  As TuPac claims, “you got to keep your head up”

Let us know what you degenerates are going to take this weekend.  Also, we can always be reached by e-mail at werecisedfor@gmail.com.

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