What Life (And Basketball) Used To Be

Posted on February 24, 2011


I journeyed up to the sight of St. Elmo’s Fire with C-Murda a few weeks ago to watch my Terrapins take on Longwood (yeah, I don’t know who they blew to get on our schedule either).  The 30 point half-time lead morphed into a 50 point lead with three minutes and change left, and the small crowd that was there started to file out.  But your boy and C stayed to see if Jordan Williams could catch another double-double.  Maryland is up by 50 and I’m so in the bag for Jordie that I’m missing the premiere of Mr. Sunshine to see if this big donkey, that my caramel coated little sister thinks is dreamy, can actually sink one more F’ing free throw to get to 10 and 10.

It got me thinking about the olden days, the days of yore.  The days when I would travel to a magical kingdom buried in the ground next to the Stamp Student Union called Cole Field House, where I would sit on my fathers’ knee and watch a much less gray and just as sweaty Gary yelling and looking like he was gonna stroke out (just like today) at the likes of Joe Smith, Keith Boothe and Walt Williams (I wasn’t old enough to remember watching Len Bias play, Peace and Blessing be upon his name).  Those beautiful days, when gas was a buck a gallon, movies were two bucks, Nirvana, Soundgarden and Biggie were on the Radio and Clinton was in the White House.  The days before Zuckerberg oaky-doked the Winklevoss twins out of billions, before these evil hipster douche bags were on every college campus, the days before Sarah Palin got together with her fellow small-minded friends for tea; The days when a strong forward in a Garyland program could actually make a wide open lay up and then hit his mother F’ing free throws! But I digress.

After a better-than-expected season last year, and with plenty of young and returning talent, the Terps find themselves in a very precarious position, with only a few games and the ACC tournament left.  It appears that Maryland HAS to beat UNC and Virginia, and at least win one game, probably two in the Tournament.  Even after an impressive last week of play, led not by Jordan but by the freshman Terrell Stogin, the Terps season is going to inevitably come down to the last week of play.

For someone who follows Maryland Basketball like a religion, I can’t take this shit.  Every time I watch Jordan Williams underneath the basket miss TWO uncontested lay ups, it ages me five years, and I’ve got enough gray hairs already.  We’ve got exactly ZERO quality wins this year, and yet I’m still grasping for a tourney at-large bid because that’s what Maryland fans do; grasp.  I love Gary, and I would walk across burning coals if he asked me to, but Juan Dixon was a once-in-a-lifetime player, and a better person, if you can believe that, than a basketball player.  Recruits these days think they’re hot shit, and expect to be courted.  Please, if you’re not going to play the game to get the McDonalds All-Americans, at least find guys who can make a F’ing wide open lay up!