I Don’t Always Go To Pakistan…

Posted on June 5, 2011


Welcome back degenerates, it’s been a long time, but absence makes the heart grow stronger.  Let me quickly explain where I’ve been: I took a little trip to Pakistan (Nubbiest country in the ENTIRE world) in between opening my new wine bar.  As it happens, I was wandering around a very nice (by Pakistani terms) suburb  of Islamabad , happened to spot a tall gentleman with a gray beard and a dialysis machine in tow.  Now, I’m not saying that I was part of Seal Team 6 (that would be classified) , or that I was the one who punched that Mother F’ers ticket, but as I am the LEAST interesting man in the world, “I don’t always go to Pakistan, but when I do, I kill Osama bin Laden”.

Seriously folks, am I the only one who wants to see the pictures of this douche bag with half his head blown off? I mean Really?!  Not to get to serious, but I sat and watched as those heroic people chose to instead of burn alive, jump to their deaths from the 120th floor of the Trade Tower; don’t we at least get to see this F’er suffer the same humiliation of sorts.  Also, getting back to the genre of this stupid blog, in the over/under futures bet of ten years to kill this murdering asshole, I had the under! Beat it by 4 months.

In the next post, which I promise will return to our two to three a week normal routine, we will touch on the subjects that we missed while I was off hunting the worlds most wanted terrorist, which will include, but not limited to…Gary/Jordan Williams (who like most people, don’t read this blog or he would have stayed), The Governator, John “I”m a creepy bastard” Edwards, the shut down of our favorite gambling sites and the subsequent confiscation of my Full Tilt account, and the future of the NFL (which you all know is the reason I’m such a degenerate in the first place).

It also appears that Cised has gone international.  Some donk in Sweden, or some other terrible Scandinavian country, has subscribed to the blog.  Maybe you can give us insider information on ice dancing or speed skating; otherwise you are just as useless as our other 12 readers.  I do, however, now get to learn how to swear in whatever nubby language you speak.

More to follow my fellow degenerates, I promise?  Feed back is always welcome and subsequently ignored, but please let us know what you’ve been up to while we’ve been off learning new ways to auto-erotically asphyxiate ourselves.  Stay black!



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