Posted on June 7, 2011


The Germans are at it again, degenerates! Now don’t get me wrong, some of my favorite people/things have come from the Fatherland: Hitler; you all remember that cute little guy with the Charlie Chaplin mustache, a massive inferiority complex and real mommy issues (yes, I know he was actually Austrian).  Wienerschnitzel, who amongst us doesn’t love a good spicy hot dog of sorts?  What else, I’m sure I’m forgetting something?  Oh yeah, the holocaust!  That small misunderstanding that donked off over 6 million people during WWII.  Well, it appears that the 4th Reich has begun, and we here at Cised feel it is our duty to warn all 12 readers as to what is going down!

Instead of rounding up people and taking them to those quaint little club MED style villas like auschwitz, they’re just passing out lettuce tainted with a nasty drug resistant form of E. Coli.  That wonderful food borne illness that gives you the runs worse than an all-you-can-eat-buffet at a Tijuana donkey show.  2300 reported cases throughout Europe so far.  And while the German farmers are doing there best Sgt. Schultz “I Know Nothing” impression, people are starting to donk off.

German Chancellor Merkel, who is still pissed at us for when W tried rubbing her shoulders at the G 8 summit a few years ago, is here to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom from “Black Jesus” Obama.  I hope at customs they asked her if she had any fruits or vegetables to declare, because if she’s preparing the salad course at the White House State Dinner this week, she could personally take out half our government in one night, and I’m sure the invasion would follow quickly.  My boy Henrik, one of 12 people who read this blog, is German, and I’m SURE would take part in the invasion and subsequent colonization of our beloved country (I’m on to you Henny).

Just look at Germany’s history; They do some incredibly cruddy shit, get their asses kicked, lay low for awhile, and then BANG, back with a Vengeance (I hope you picked up on the Die Hard 3 reference there, if not, google that shit).  Someone better call Aldo “The Apache” and The Bear Jew to be on guard at the State Dinner just in case shenanigans ensue.  I’m just saying, degenerates, this is why we as a people shouldn’t eat salads…or trust Germans!